March Fruit Madness

March Madness is approaching and brackets will soon be floating around the school. The staff here at The Senator decided to use the bracket system to rank something unconventional: fruit. We decided to purchase a few fruits that we’d never tasted before, so our Monday afternoon began with coconut, kumquat, cranberry, dragon fruit, passionfruit, papaya, fig, lychee, and prickly pear. We began voting, tasting the fruits we had as we went along. The voting was simple, each person raised their hand for the fruit they wanted and the majority ruled.

We ran into a problem with a 7-7 vote on nectarine v. strawberry. We decided to go to Mrs. Taft and have her act as the deciding vote. She voted for nectarine and caused an uproar in the newsroom. The victory of nectarine was by far the biggest upset of the day.

Most of the new fruits we tasted were not very good. The lychee looked like moist eyeballs and Ms. Negele described the figs as looking like “an owl pellet of poop.” The passionfruit and papaya smelled amazing, but failed to deliver on taste. Even though the papaya’s taste was less-than-impressive, it surprisingly beat the cranberries in round one. The dragonfruit left the class very divided. We all thought it was good, but the level of deliciousness varied depending on who you spoke with. Cavin Armour said it was “amazing,” but others disagreed. The kumquats were overwhelmingly tart, but this could have been an error on our part. Research done after the taste test shows that you are supposed to eat the kumquat whole because the sweet skin balances the sour pulp.

As the rounds progressed, a few fruits pulled ahead. The final eight consisted of classic fruits known by everyone: pineapple, apple, grapes, peach, blackberries, blueberries and orange. Apples and peaches proved to be the favorites of the newspaper staff. The vote was extremely close, but the staff of The Senator ultimately chose the apple as the superior fruit.

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